?

Log in

A fun exercise - Mo's Journal
April 27th, 2006
01:58 pm

[Link]

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
A fun exercise
ETA answers to cherrypin_up's questions, too:

Gacked from becky_h .

It’s an interview meme. It’s got five easy steps. Here they are, conveniently labeled with Roman numerals:

I - Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

II- I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal. ETA: mofic tends towards not asking creepy questions and if a question is too personal, she will always accept “I’d rather not say” as an answer. ETAA: mofic does not know why she is speaking about herself in third person.

III - You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.

IV- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.

V - When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


My answers to becky_h’s questions behind the cut.



1.- Do you remember discovering slash?

Vividly. It was in the last year of my over-a-quarter-century marriage, although I didn’t know the marriage was winding down at the time. I’d seen the X-Men movie because my son wanted to go and I’m a good mama, so I took him and his friends on opening day. I was surprised to find myself totally captivated by the movie. I felt transported into a world where mutants are real. I wondered what happened before the movie, after the movie, in between scenes. I wanted more.

I looked for information about the movie and potential sequels. I found my way to fan sites and ultimately to fanfic. I’d never heard of it, but I immediately loved the idea. And I particularly loved the idea of slash. One of the things that had fascinated me about the X-Men was the queer subtext, the way that the mutants could be viewed as stand ins for queer people in our society. I was charmed to see that people were looking for and creating other kinds of queer subtext, playing with the characters. I was fascinated by the idea of slash, by the challenge of it. How to take a character who’s canonically heterosexual and make him credibly gay and still credibly himself? I wanted to give it a try.

I told my then spouse about what I'd found and how excited I was about this new interest. She said "You're reading that stuff?!?! And at work?!?!" in a tone that made clear she thought it a disgusting thing to read "that stuff." (The "at work" part she might have had a point on, I concede). I didn't tell her when I started writing it. No, I don't think slash ended my marriage. I do think that our very different views on this were reflective of some basic differences between us that had kind of crept up on us, over time.

2- What makes Scott/Logan work for you?

That’s changed over the years. What made it work for me initially were their problems and their differences. As I conceived of the characters, they were both deeply flawed human beings, in very different ways, in ways that made it impossible for them to understand each other. Each interpreted the other’s behavior through the lens of his own limitations. So, Scott thinks that Logan’s sexual peculiarities come from deep-seated closet issues and internalized homophobia, since Scott suffers from deep-seated closet issues and internalized homophobia. And Logan thinks that Scott leaves him and then has sex with Jean because that’s what Logan would do. They stumble along, somehow developing a relationship (of sorts) that is based on intersecting neuroses. Yet, under all those misunderstandings is a real need for each other. Each is getting something he can’t from anyone else.

Over time I found that it’s the nature of that need and how they challenge each other and change in the relationship that works for me. I think they grow as individuals and as a couple. It’s not a romantic relationship; it’s not a peaceful relationship. It’s a highly dialectical one, to borrow a term from my early Marxist training. And I’m enough of a dialectical materialist still to think that conflict can result in advancement. It also generates plot :-).

3- If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?

I’m sure I’d answer this differently at different times, depending on mood. Today I’d love to go back to India. I spent a month there many years ago and really just scratched the surface of what I’d like to see. I’d love to spend a year exploring and really getting an experience – instead of just a taste – of a country with such a different history, climate, variety of languages and cultures from the one I grew up in. A young friend/former babysitter of mine did her junior year abroad in India and I was profoundly jealous.

4- If you could be someone else a day (living, dead, or fictional) who would it be?

George W. Bush. At least daily I find myself saying “Is he really that stupid?” “Does he really believe that shit?” “What’s going on in his head?” I’d love to know, once and for all. Plus, maybe I could manage in a day to do something that would get him impeached.

5- If you could say one thing to the world, and have it be *heard* by everyone, what would it be?

“The worst thing about a bad experience is to learn nothing from it.” It’s one of my father’s maxims, one that makes up in meaning what it lacks in sentence structure :-). I’ve had lots of bad experiences. I try to get some learning out of them.


Answers to cherrypin_up's questions behind this cut:



1. Picture the first 'perfect woman' who comes to mind. Not anyone you know, some sort of celebrity or untouchable. Now, if you were both free and of the same inclination, would you go for it? If yes, a relationship or a 'long weekend', and why?

Oh yeah! This is a question? Perfect Woman is interested in me and I’m free and so is she? Who wouldn’t go for it! But even with Perfect Woman I wouldn’t want to decide up front whether this is a lost weekend or a full-fledged relationship. I’d start with the lost weekend and see where we go from there. Maybe perfection gets boring after a while. Maybe she decides she’d rather be with someone else Perfect. But, sure, I’d give it a try. The Perfect Woman who came to mind was Susan Sarandon, btw.


2. Where is the one place on earth that it would be hell for you to live?

Suburbia. I moved to the suburbs of Connecticut from rural North Dakota just before I turned seven and stayed there through high school. I fled as soon as I could and have never regretted that. I hate the sameness, the stultification, the sexism and heterosexism. I didn’t know I was a City Grrl until I moved to Montreal, but I’m never going back to the suburbs.

3. Movieverse - Rogue, Mystique, Or Phoenix?

To be or to do? Definitely not Rogue, either way. I think she’s Horrors of Adolescence personified. Phoenix? All that power – more appealing to be than to do, I think. Mystique, appealing on both counts. What a great thing to be able to just become anyone you want to be, for a little while.


4. If you could only have one kind of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Fruit, I guess. I’m not answering this in terms of what would sustain one nutritionally (there’s probably some nutrient-rich horrible power bar or something) but what I could stand to eat every day all day. I think it’s the one food I never tire of.

5. Who do you think Tops? Magneto or Professor X.?

Magneto, but the Professor is really the one in charge.




Thanks, becky_h and cherrypin_up for the interesting and thought-provoking questions. I’m using my Adam icon, since he’s the most frequent interviewer among my characters.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Apples in the Basket by Gordon Bok
Tags:

(20 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
[User Picture]
From:becky_h
Date:April 27th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Thank you for wonderful and thought provoking answers.

Interview me? (I like this meme.)
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:April 27th, 2006 07:09 pm (UTC)
(Link)
1. In what ways is your lj personality different from your in person one?

2. What is a joy of parenting that you've experienced but didn't expect?

3. Do you have any irrational fears?

4. What really gets on your nerves?

5. If you had to give up one of the following for a year, which would it be: sex, television, reading, alcohol?
[User Picture]
From:cherrypin_up
Date:April 27th, 2006 06:38 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Interview me.
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:April 27th, 2006 07:12 pm (UTC)
(Link)
1. If you had another child, what would his/her name be?

2. What's the biggest difference you've found between living on the East Coast and the West?

3. Who's your favorite X-Man and why?

4. If there was a movie of the story of your life, what would you like it to be called? What do you think it would really be called?

5. Where did you get that hat?
[User Picture]
From:cherrypin_up
Date:April 27th, 2006 08:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Answered!
[User Picture]
From:chimosa
Date:April 27th, 2006 08:50 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Oooo, this is cool. I wanna play. Interview me?
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:April 27th, 2006 08:56 pm (UTC)
(Link)
1. Tell me about the first time you fell in love.

2. If you could dance like anyone - living or dead - who would s/he be?

3. Describe what you think your life will be like 10 years from now.

4. If I asked your best friend to describe you, what would s/he say?

5. What's one job you just can't imagine yourself doing, no matter how much they paid you?
[User Picture]
From:chimosa
Date:April 28th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC)
(Link)
Answered. It hurt my brain, but I did it.
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:April 28th, 2006 11:01 am (UTC)
(Link)
I didn't want to hurt your brain! But I'm glad you did it. I enjoyed reading it.
[User Picture]
From:kestrelsparhawk
Date:April 28th, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC)

Interview

(Link)
Oh, fun! Nice meme. Interview me?

--Kes
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:April 28th, 2006 06:56 pm (UTC)

Re: Interview

(Link)
1. If you had one dose of love potion and one only, to whom would you feed it?

2. What is the appeal of slash for you? (Strangely, with all the meta-discussion you and I have had on fanfic and slash, I don't think I've ever asked you that or heard you answer someone else asking).

3. Tell me about something that it's too late to do now, but you really regret that you never did.

4. What secret skill do you have that almost no one in your life knows about?

5. When was the last time you cried and why?
[User Picture]
From:ceeinjax
Date:April 28th, 2006 08:46 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Mystique, appealing on both counts. What a great thing to be able to just become anyone you want to be, for a little while.

And then you could be Dubya for a day and fulfill #4 on becky_h's list! ;-)
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:April 28th, 2006 08:50 pm (UTC)
(Link)
LOL! Hey, do you want to be interviewed? All you have to do is say "Interview me." I think it would be challenging to come up with five things I don't know about you to ask about :-).
[User Picture]
From:ceeinjax
Date:April 28th, 2006 09:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Sure... interview me. That will definitely be a challenge for you! ;)

I don't know if I'll post the meme to my LJ, though, at least not right now. I'm having a helluva time keeping up with my FL and my RL at the same time. LOL.
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:April 29th, 2006 02:52 am (UTC)
(Link)
Well, you could always answer here, or privately.

1. What skills from accounting do you find you use as a doula, if any?

2. Have you ever considered writing a novel? What would it be about?

3. If T. had been a girl, what would his name have been?

4. Ditto if J. had been a boy?

5. What do you like best about being a grandmother?
[User Picture]
From:ceeinjax
Date:May 18th, 2006 03:33 am (UTC)
(Link)
Well, you could always answer here, or privately.

OMG... I can't believe this has been sitting in my "Answer This" folder for 3 weeks. You should just divorce me. LOL.

1. What skills from accounting do you find you use as a doula, if any?

Hmmm... that's a great question. I maintain fairly detailed Excel spreadsheets on my students and clients and their birth outcomes... and calculate statistics for various interventions that were experienced. I calculate percentages for total births as well as surgical births and vaginal births... and student births vs. doula client births. And, of course, I use my accounting skills to maintain financial records for my business.

I think the years I worked as an auditor really help me in my work as a childbirth educator and doula. I know how to research laws, rules and regulations... and I'm not intimidated by the language typically used in them. I have pretty good communication skills when there are things to be said that aren't necessarily what the listener wants to hear. Hey, helping a nurse understand why my client is refusing routine interventions is a lot easier than telling an auditee that financial reports are in need of significant adjustment that s/he is going to have to explain to the boss and/or shareholders! I understand the need for discretion and confidentiality.

2. Have you ever considered writing a novel? What would it be about?

I haven't ever considered it, but I have been trying to get my dad to sit with me and let me record the stories he heard from his grandparents and parents... and the ones of his own experiences as a child growing up in rural Georgia in what can only be described as abject poverty.

I used to think I would collaborate with other experienced mothers (like you and our friends Meg & Dawn) to write a book about parenting, but Katie kind of beat us to the punch on that. I've been thinking lately that maybe someday Jessica and I might collaborate on a book someday... haven't quite worked out the premise yet, though. Something about birth. :-)

3. If T. had been a girl, what would his name have been?

Marisa Joy... that was my second favorite name for a girl... after Jessica Ann. I thought it would be cool to have one child named for my paternal grandmother, Jessie, and one named for my maternal grandmother, Mary.

4. Ditto if J. had been a boy?

If Jessica had been a boy, her daddy wanted to name her James Lee... which makes me smile now because her LAST name is James! And her son's middle name is Lee!

5. What do you like best about being a grandmother?

Oh my gosh... there are so many wonderful things to like. I love watching my own child mothering in a way that I respect. She isn't doing things exactly like I did them, but she is making some wonderful choices for her children. Some of her mothering is better than mine was... and some of it isn't. ;-)

But, truly, what I love the best about being a grandmother is those sweet kids. What's not to love? I can't tell you how my heart melts when Justin asks to talk to me on the phone and says so breathlessly, "Hiiii, Nonnnnnny!" And then, "Bye, Nonny, I love you!" when he hangs up. Or when I say to Jenna, "Can Nonny have kisses?" and she turns her little sweet face to mine with her lips puckered up. ::swoon::
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:May 18th, 2006 11:45 am (UTC)
(Link)
You should just divorce me. LOL.

You're stuck with me for life, ceeinjax. Hey, on a total tangent - do you have any idea why STD rates are higher in your county than the rest of Florida? Apparently it's always been so, but they've jumped recently and no one has an explanation.

Back to the questions :-). I really enjoyed your answers. I knew you'd come up with a lot for #1. I didn't know what, but I truly believe that learning is never wasted and that skills always transfer from one career to another.

I think a book about your dad's family would be really compelling, as would the other ideas.

Thanks for playing! Your prize is... a virtual chocolate truffle.
[User Picture]
From:ceeinjax
Date:May 18th, 2006 02:25 pm (UTC)
(Link)
You're stuck with me for life, ceeinjax.

I can live with that. ;-)

Hey, on a total tangent - do you have any idea why STD rates are higher in your county than the rest of Florida? Apparently it's always been so, but they've jumped recently and no one has an explanation.

Isn't that a lovely claim to fame? The local spin, which I think is complete BS, is that the numbers are high because there is more screening and identification being done here than in other places. Rrrrrrright.

I think there are probably several contributing factors. The only IRL case of syphilis of which I have been aware was here, and she got it from her husband after he had an affair with another woman. He was in the Navy, but I don't think that can be blamed for the disease... unless the woman from whom he contracted it got it from another sailor (who may or may not have brought it home from a foreign tour of duty). I've heard some people speculate that the Navy presence here is one of the big contributing factors, and I can see how that might be... lots of single sailors dating local men and women.

Syphilis isn't the biggest problem, though, from what I'm hearing... it's chlamydia and gonorrhea. I don't remember hearing about anyone I know personally having gonorrhea, but I've known quite a few people who have had chlamydia. I still think the large Navy presence is at least a contributing factor.

Other factors that might contribute to the high rate are:

* Large transient population that is not served well by our local or state government. Ya know, everyone wants to come to Florida in the winter, even homeless people... maybe *especially* homeless people because it's still warm enough to sleep outside most of the time, even in north Florida.

* I've heard some reports that suggest that the large African-American population here is a factor, but I'm not sure I buy that. There are at least 3-4 other counties in Florida with black populations higher than ours. We may have more *poor* blacks here than they do, but I don't know if I buy that as a factor or not either. Smacks of racism to me.

* Abstinence-based sex education programs aren't educating teenagers adequately about STDs.

* Bible-belt mentality makes it difficult/uncomfortable for sexually active people to buy condoms. Even though Jacksonville is a big city, it still has a small town mentality, IMO. Everybody is still trying to get in everybody else's business, especially if you stay within your own area of town. You never know who might be watching you buy those condoms, and I have known a lot of teenagers who say they either don't buy them because of that... or they drive to another part of town to buy them. Unfortunately, that probably applies to non-teenagers, too. People around here are just weird as hell about sex, I tell ya.

Ooooh... I've been meaning to tell you about this... on another tangent here. ;-) I was totally APPALLED when we were in Key West to see that "personal items" like condoms, lube, etc. are kept in a LOCKED case in the Kmart on Marathon Key. WTF? I cannot imagine the thinking behind this. Are those items really at high risk for shoplifting? Why would they be more so in the Florida Keys? I can think of a few reasons, but none of them is very flattering for the management of that Kmart. :-/
[User Picture]
From:mofic
Date:May 18th, 2006 11:07 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Interesting thoughts. Although I wouldn't totally discount better surveillance. I can't imagine it's the only cause but it could be part of it. As to the others you suggested, it has to be something about your county (Duval? Is that right?) that's different from other places in Florida, because that's the basis of comparison. So I'd wonder if there's more transient folks in Duval than elsewhere? Certainly not more abstinence based education. More reluctance to buy condoms? It's kind of a puzzle.

And very weird about Kmart on Marathon key.

Working for the health department, I always find that when I go to another bureau for a meeting, I'll walk in and they'll be a big bowl on the receptionist's desk. I always hope for candy (not chocolate) but it always turns out to be condoms...
[User Picture]
From:ceeinjax
Date:May 19th, 2006 02:22 am (UTC)
(Link)
As to the others you suggested, it has to be something about your county (Duval? Is that right?) that's different from other places in Florida, because that's the basis of comparison.

Yes, I know... which is why it's so puzzling.

So I'd wonder if there's more transient folks in Duval than elsewhere?

I think so... since it's the first county they'll come to if they're traveling down I-95 or US 1 with a big city where they can get some help and/or blend easily.

Certainly not more abstinence based education.

Why do you think not? It's definitely the largest ultra-conservative county in FL.

More reluctance to buy condoms? It's kind of a puzzle.

Duval is not like the more cosmopolitan areas around Orlando, Tampa or Miami. There is much more of a Southern Baptist influence here than in any of those cities and their counties. Definite "good ol' boy" network, too... that's why I describe it as a big city with a small town mentality. People I know who have moved here from other cities, especially outside the South, are surprised at how difficult it can be to break into the social/business community. It's overall just a bit backward, IMO. Damn, this whole exchange is really making me miss Gainesville. ;-)

Working for the health department, I always find that when I go to another bureau for a meeting, I'll walk in and they'll be a big bowl on the receptionist's desk. I always hope for candy (not chocolate) but it always turns out to be condoms...

I used to raid the fishbowl at UNF Student Health Services on a regular basis. ;-)

Cee
Mofic Powered by LiveJournal.com