It's at times like this when it would be nice to have a mother instead of just being one iykwim. Which brings me to one of my favorite jokes:
One of my favorite jokes is about a mother helping out a sick daughter.
A: Hello, darling. It's Mother. How are you?
B: (sobbing) Terrible.
A: What's wrong, honey?
B: Everything! I'm all alone with the kids.
A: Is he away on business again?
B: Yes, and the kids are all sick. Throwing up and diarrhea and snotty noses,
all at once. And the endless laundry and trying to make the food that each one
will eat and hoping it will stay down and all their toys everywhere. And now
*I'm* sick, too, and I haven't slept in days and I just. can't. take. it.
A: Darling, it's okay. Everything will be better in an hour. I'm coming right
over. I'll stop at the grocery store on the way and pick up a few supplies and
then the first thing I'm doing is putting you straight to bed. You need to
catch up on your sleep or you'll never get better! And while you're sleeping,
I'll clean the house and take care of the kids and make dinner for you all.
B: Oh Mom! You're so good to me.
A: Don't be silly! What are mothers for? Carol - really, you should have
called me before things got this bad.
B: Carol? My name is Diane.
A: Is this 555-4565?
B: No, it's 555-4566.
A: I'm terribly sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number.
B: (panic in voice) Does that mean you're not coming over?
I'm using my sleep icon because that's what I wish I were doing right now.