December 26th, 2007

New Year

Why a Long Term Relationship?

New Year's approaching is making me kind of reflective. I tend to think of New Year's as a good holiday for couples, and I'm not coupled. So, mixed in with the reflection is a soupcon of self-pity. I'll try to get over that.

As readers of this journal will know, I was in a non-legally-recognized marriage with another woman for over 25 years (I was a child bride). We broke up seven years ago this coming April. She now says we were never married, but I'm not accepting that rewrite of history. We were married; we are divorced; unfortunately we haven't had legal recognition or support for either state.

I wish I were married now. I don't regret leaving S. at all. I think - for a variety of reasons, some my fault, some hers and some just fate - things got to a point where we could not be married to each other. OTOH, I still believe in marriage, in a lifelong partnership, and wish to meet someone to spend the rest of my life together. I've dated and been involved in three relationships (two long-distance, one local) but - as Bertie Wooster is wont to say of his assorted engagements - no business resulted. Someone asked me a while ago why I'm looking for someone to marry, what I feel I would get out of marriage that I can't get out of a loving family and a strong network of friends. She herself is a single parent by choice and not very interested in changing that. She asked what is it that she's missing and this is what I said:
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I wrote that a couple of years ago, and I still believe it all. Anyone want to weigh in? Single or married? What do you think the advantages are of either state?