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Some Further Thoughts on Realism in Slash - Mo's Journal
January 29th, 2007
02:00 pm

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Some Further Thoughts on Realism in Slash

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From:mofic
Date:January 31st, 2007 11:13 am (UTC)
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And that, in a nutshell, is why I tend to give "the community" a wide berth. Which probably doesn't do much for my chances of getting a girlfriend, but hey, there's always boys!

Hey, whatever works for you, but I don't find straight society more accepting of diversity than the gay community. IME it's just the opposite - there's a lot more room for variety of expression of all kinds in gay and lesbian society. Maybe it depends where you live? http://www.gaycenter.org/group_index has a list of groups that regularly meet at our LGBT community center and I love looking at it just for the huge variety of Real Queer (tm) activities.

Anyway, not meaning to dissuade you from a single life if that's what you want, but I think it's possible to carve out a niche for oneself within GLBT community even if one feels one doesn't fit in. When I started on this whole parenting thing in the mid-1980s a whole lot of people felt that Real Lesbians didn't have kids, but we didn't let them shove us out of the community - we made it make room for us. Now there's a whole Gayby Boom going on.

::gets off soapbox:: I hope you get what you want, whether that's a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or a single life. And writing is always a good thing, so keep it up!
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From:were_lemur
Date:February 2nd, 2007 07:09 am (UTC)
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Hey, whatever works for you, but I don't find straight society more accepting of diversity than the gay community. IME it's just the opposite - there's a lot more room for variety of expression of all kinds in gay and lesbian society.

I tend to hang around in fandom when I can, which tends to be pretty accepting. Though I've never been much of a joiner. I'm a lot more inclined to have a few close friends and ignore the rest of society as a whole, except to snark at it. It comes from being a natural introvert, I suspect. (I'm an INTJ, if you know Myers-Briggs.) My response to rejection tends to be mostly of the "fine, who needs you anyway?" variety.

The single thing is actually fairly seperate; I suspect that if I looked hard enough, I could find a fannish girlfriend. But really, I'm not sure I want a romantic relationship right now -- or maybe ever. It's not a "burned by the community" thing as much as it is a "my writing is my priority" thing. I'm trying to put in what amounts to a couple of hours a day to my writing, on top of the money job and school and family obligations, and sticking in time to see the friends I already have. This may change, this may not. But right now, I tend to feel that either being single, or at most a casual "friends-with-benefits" kind of thing, is the way to go. (/tmi)

I suppose it has a lot to do with growing up and being an outsider. Being part of the group has never been a big priority with me.
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