So What Exactly Is Sex? In fiction and in real life - Mo's Journal — LiveJournal
So What Exactly Is Sex? In fiction and in real life|
Oh, interesting! that never occurred to me, because I was thinking of sex as a biological cultural concept and it sounds to me that you went directly to what sex means. I can see that your situational definition neatly undercuts the argument that it "wasn't really adultery, because all we did was..." I'm not sure I agree that you need that definition of sex to define adultery, but I need to think about it awhile.
I don't know that *I* agree with my own idea that it *needs* to be sex in order to be adultery, actually! I think it's just that when I think about it, the fact that I instinctively consider those things adultery is what makes me consider them to be sex in these circumstances, as sort of a retroactive definition (and I'm sure that's not the right word, but I can't come up with a better one). I know that if I were married, and I came home to find my husband necking with his coworker, I'd be pissed and absolutely consider it cheating -- but I still wouldn't consider it sex. I suppose that's what I mean by the 'wavy' lines that define this things: they're not only very thin, but they shift constantly where, if anywhere, that cutoff exists.
Of course, if you were to throw polyamorous or threesome relationships into the mix, that would complicate things all the more, even as it brought the adultery issue back out of it. ;-)