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So What Exactly Is Sex? In fiction and in real life - Mo's Journal
January 12th, 2008
02:43 pm


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So What Exactly Is Sex? In fiction and in real life

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Date:January 12th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
I assumed the masturbation was between people who would identify themselves as sexual and/or romantic partners, and would be done with the other watching and for the other's benefit. I just took the difference to be whether there was physical participation in the act by the other versus only watching. I think masturbating for someone versus mutual masturbation represent two different types of vulnerability.

I assumed that, too - that these two people are interacting sexually with each other. Not necessarily established romantic or sexual partners, but that masturbating is part of their sex play together whether or not it's deemed "having sex." But I think the other variations are interesting, too.

So again, I suppose "intent" plays a role. (G)

Someone else said it's sex - no matter what you do - if you intend to get each other off, regardless of whether it works. And it isn't sex if you're only concerned with getting off yourself. Which is an interesting definition, and by which there's a whole lot of "not sex" happening out there!
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Date:January 13th, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
That Hermione/Cedric example is a great one of how experience plays into the definition. Intent, experience, age, marriage - they're all contexts that legitimately affect how we view the sexual interaction. Does that mean that they also affect whether or not it *is* sex? For some people they do, for others not, and for some they kind of do on the margin :-).

Another contextual factor is what is the couple's experience with each other? Is mutual masturbation to orgasm as a choice to vary an established couple's sex life "having sex" while mutual masturbation in a new couple who for whatever reasons aren't yet ready for other forms of sex "not having sex"? I think some would say that difference obtains. Or, as I used as an example from my own fiction elsewhere, is phone sex with one's lover while apart different from phone sex with someone you haven't met? Yes. Is it different enough that the former is sex and the latter is not? Not to my mind, but some say yes.
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Date:January 13th, 2008 06:47 am (UTC)
Your Finding Himself example is fantastic. I'd sort of noticed that my bf and I have different definitions of sex, and couldn't understand why. But with him being seven years older and quite a bit more experienced, it makes a lot of sense.

....amazing the things one learns while taking sex surveys.
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