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What I Learned From the "What is Sex?" Poll - Mo's Journal
January 15th, 2008
10:07 am


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What I Learned From the "What is Sex?" Poll

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[User Picture]
Date:January 18th, 2008 06:28 am (UTC)

...via metafandom

I found the poll quite interesting as well.

What I was thinking about in reading your response to the poll was questions of virginity.

I consider oral sex to be sex, however, in my mind you can have participated in oral sex and still be a virgin. I know girls who have had anal sex rather than vaginal in order to preserve their virginity. I've known girls who've been raped to lament the loss of their virginity. To me, if you've had anal sex, you're not a virgin. If you've been raped... it don't count: virginity needs to be given away, not taken. And for men: well, if it's the first time you've been penetrated by a man but you have had sex with women before... there is a certain kind of virginity loss there, but it's difficult to describe what it is. Or (unheard of in fanfic, tho I've seen it in RL) when a woman who has had sex with other women first has sex with a man for the first time: was she a "virgin" before the penis showed up, or not?

Anyway, I found the poll and the responses very interesting, thank you!

[User Picture]
Date:January 18th, 2008 11:57 am (UTC)

Re: ...via metafandom

It's interesting, isn't it? I think that virginity has had a value in some places and times because of its value to men in guaranteeing (they think) that their offspring are genetically theirs (not that it really works) and we see vestiges of that in society, in situations far removed from that. I think you are quite right that for a lot of people, "loss of virginity" is meaningful and significant, although often in a negative way...
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